A 7:15 a.m. confrontation at a Sydney cafe between an elderly customer and two mothers has blown up into a nationwide argument about who actually owns public space.
Podcaster Lauren Treweek described the incident on her show, Ready or Not, saying a woman believed to be in her 70s sat down with her takeaway coffee and told the mothers to “tell your kids to be f—ing quiet.” One of the mothers, who had a newborn with her, replied: “I’m sorry, they’re kids.”
Treweek said her friend then turned on the woman directly: “Get your takeaway coffee and go elsewhere, you vile woman.”
“I thought, good on my friend for saying that because that is disgusting,” Treweek told co-host Lucinda McKimm.
McKimm went further, arguing the exchange reflects a broader hostility toward parents in public. “It’s f—ing ridiculous. That just locks moms in their homes more. [If] anxious moms that already find it hard to get out have that experience, they don’t go to the cafe the next day – they stay at home and feel lonely,” she said.
The cafe in question has only outdoor seating. One of the mothers involved later weighed in on the video, saying the children were playing around a tree with a built-in seat that’s part of a shared outdoor setting for multiple businesses — not inside a cafe dining area. “The kids were being kids in a public area,” she wrote, adding that people “need to relax.”
The Public Split
Listeners did not land on one side. Some backed the mother’s blunt response outright, with one commenter arguing people are “entitled to a child free life, not a child free world,” and calling intolerance of well-behaved kids in public “absurd.”
Others sided with the complaint. “It’s 7:15 a.m. They do need to be quiet! People are still sleeping. Be respectful!” one person wrote. Another split the difference: “Kids in cafes are fine, and if they make some noise, that’s fine too. But they are not playgrounds, they should not have free rein to run around.”
What An Etiquette Expert Says
Sydney-based etiquette expert Kate Heussler told news.com.au the debate “certainly is an interesting one.” She drew a line between normal childhood behavior and genuine disruption.
“If the children were chatting excitedly, laughing or occasionally raising their voices, I’d consider that perfectly reasonable,” Heussler said. “Young children are still developing emotional regulation, impulse control and social awareness. We can’t reasonably expect them to behave like miniature adults when, if we’re being completely honest, a lot of adults fail to do that themselves.”
But Heussler, a mother herself, said running between tables or creating a safety hazard is a different matter, and parents carry responsibility for supervision. She also said the elderly woman had other options if genuinely bothered — approaching staff or raising the issue politely — rather than confronting the parents directly.
As for how it played out, Heussler didn’t give either side a clean win. “Though it appears as if the exchange descended into a shouting match, neither adult was demonstrating particularly good etiquette. You can establish a firm boundary without escalating a confrontation, especially when children are watching,” she said.
Her bottom line: “Ultimately, etiquette is about consideration flowing both ways. Children deserve patience and age-appropriate expectations, parents have a responsibility to supervise them, and other adults have a responsibility to communicate their concerns respectfully.”
